Spinster or Spouse

It is preferable to be a single spinster than surviving the wrath of a louse-a-spouse.  Thanks to a former customer for sharing this artist’s link on Facebook. The artist represents a great photo perspective on the social pressure women experience to conform to society and the expectation to marry and have a family.   Being a single female is a better option for me than what I experienced in a 22-year covertly coerced cover-up commitment.  I’d still have the career that I began as a 21 year old single female.  a MANikin can’t embezzle from a successful career woman’s business.   There may be a need for a female version also.

2013 At Home - SLEEPING IN - 650px-wmk

no chance for assault . . .

The current legal counsel doesn’t like my use of sarcasm in describing the bizarre events leading up to my abrupt exit from my long-standing career.  I comment that sarcasm is simply Truth with a Twist.

More about sarcasm in another post . . .

Costumes, Candy, Creativity

This is a repost of a blogpost from last year.  The only change was with the weather – a dreary drizzly evening – yet the groups of visiting treat seekers was varied and steady.

It seems like a strange tradition to me, but tonight I really enjoyed handing out surprises to all the children who were “drawn” to my house by the porch light. Children and adults have a longstanding interest in playing dress up — wearing costumes. Our Trick or Treat night was rescheduled to Saturday night due to hurricane Sandy’s Frankenstorm. The change was a good move since everyone would have been puddle jumping and slipping around on wet leaves otherwise.

The air was crisp and cool this evening. The sidewalks were darkened through the absence of street lights and limited household participants on the block. A porch light is the symbol for We’re Open For the Event, and I used the word “drawn” above because my chosen treat was a colorful pencil. There was a huge selection of pencil designs: aliens, camouflage, daisies, smiley faces, cars, hearts, dinosaurs. The response from the chilled costumed characters was favorable, each reaching into the basket and digging through the assortment till he or she found the perfect pencil.


The children were very gracious about the gift. They used good manners to say “Thank-you”, then ran back to their parent to proudly report “I got a pencil!”

One little fella asked “Are you a teacher?” “Yes” I said. “I teach people to draw.” “What will you draw with your pencil?” I asked. Nearly every child had something that popped into their mind that they would draw when they returned home. A few children proudly announced “I’m going to use my new pencil in school.”


Sometimes it’s the unexpected things that make a day stand out among the passing of the week. My happy highlight was Halloween this week.

This year the most special treat for the night was a mini paint set:


What was your happy highlight this week?
Drop a line and let me know.
Thanks, mARTi

Talk about Teens

While in an office today, I was listening to a parent of a teenager say multiple times “she’s crazy”, “my teenager is crazy.”    Then she mentioned in the next breath that she had a 4 year old.  This mother didn’t have any particular remarks about her 4 year old son except that she wanted to get him into soccer or Tai Kwon Do — something active.   Apparently her daughter played soccer.   I asked “Why do you like soccer?”   The responses were what I would expect to hear:   for fun, for the exersize, for her socialization.    But what kept lingering in my head is that she kept saying her daughter was “crazy.”   I indicated that the teen age is the most difficult of all, she agreed but continued to speak in frustration about her daughter.

I wondered why parents spend so much time and energy getting their children signed up for activities that make them busy and make them interact with other teens in a competitive way (sports).   Wouldn’t teens benefit by interacting and being around people that are older, experienced?  People that have gone through that teen time to be successful in their career and community?    Would it be possible for the parent to promote activities with respected members of the community or for the child to find a few hours of employment and not worry so much about their social concerns?

Social concerns never end. They can go on our whole lives, but telling your child (I’m sure she doesn’t just use that phrase with strangers only) that she’s “crazy” is not going to help her/him through this passage of life.    Ask what they think, how they feel.  Try not to be judgemental of them.   Teens want to be respected by their parents, mostly want to please them, but calling them “crazy” because they are experiencing life in a different manner than you may have — will not aid in their emotional growth.


If parent’s would spend some time learning about human development as they do about pop culture, sports figures and TV personalities — perhaps they would be better equipped to address the concerns of their children when situations arise that frustrate them about their teens moods or behaviors.  Parents spend more time preparing for their careers than they do for the most important job they will ever have — raising a child.

Struggles and Strength

During my online studies, I often become aquainted with information that springs out of my search results. An intriguing article caught my attention. It is titled “Why Positive Thinking is Bad For You.” That is not the typical trend of teaching in the last several decades.

There’s so much push to be sure everyone is “happy”. “Have fun,” the parent says as they drop their child off at private lessons (art, music) or at a dance class. Since when did instructors have to take on the role of ENTERTAINER while working at teaching skills to children?


I contend that we will encounter many situations in our life that will test our ability to adapt, change and find a solution for improvement.   Being skilled at any task does not happen in an instant and it is often beneficial to have constructive criticism early on.  Another generation may grow up thinking everything they do, say, make is cute, clever or creative.   Most children have creative abilities — but only a few will excell beyond a standard skill.  That goes for any form of knowledge be it math, science, music, athletics, reading, writing, history.

We need to be corrected when we give a wrong answer.   We need to be encouraged to improve our skills.   It is a rare 8 year old who “already knows how to draw” as I’ve heard retorted by students in the last 10 years.     How can a child have that much self-confidence — or lack of interest in learning anything more — at such a young age?     Perhaps parents hang every piece of artwork on the refrigerator — instead of sorting out a couple exceptional pieces.

Kids expect to get stickers, prizes, badges, trophies — just for showing up to an activity.   How can we build strong, motivated learners and active, productive citizens if we continually say everything is good?

Text or Talk

So what is the point of going out to eat with someone if you spend the majority of time texting someone else?   That’s my question for tonight.

A young couple sat down in the diner where I was eating my meal. The ordered soda, looked through the menu, ordered — then proceded to start texting.  Who?  Why?   The guy was lounging in the booth with his smaller version flip phone — the gal was proped up by her elbows on the tables edge texting with here keypad cell phone.   They barely spoke to each other.   They didn’t appear to be a first date  — doubt either would have tolerated that early on.    What could be so important that they BOTH had to text someone else at that time instead of talking to each other?

Couldn’t they have done the texting before going out?   After going out?    Here is a link to ways to deal with a meal and talk at the table instead of text.    Or if you prefer cartoons:

Comfort in Comedy

Without a decent sense of humor, I never would have survived the last couple years, as it was an unbelievably bizarre tragedy. Fortunately, since miles of separation and safety, my innate sense of humor has been able to emerge again. I began to see the tragic comedy or a comedic tragedy of the  whole situation and began to picture cartoons to ease the pain of reality.

I just came across some cool site about creating cartoons and comics for various settings.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

Life Line

Living on the edge does not mean you have to be a rock climber, sky diver, deep sea explorer or work with explosive chemicals.   We can “live on the edge” is like taking the road less traveled.

A Yahoo Answers guest wrote: “It means to live in the moment with no ability to plan for the future or live responsibly.  If you are maturing you do not ‘live life on the edge’.  That’s a very big part of growing up.”

What’s the Connection

People say they connect using social networks. There are wireless connections. With the constant connection we have with our cars and computers, why can’t we get together in person — travel to spend actual time with the people we claim are our friends? Our connections have become wireless, meaningless, superficial. We think we’re connecting because we sent a text message or email or posted a picture online. Is that a real connection? Or is that a facade to fill the void from negligence to meet and actually speak to each other.

I’ve been spending a lot of time visiting the local parks in my “witness protection” location. There’s no one in any of the parks most of the time. A young man shoots hoops alone. A lady runs along the street. A man walks his dog. Two women push a baby in a stroller. It’s oddly quiet for a public park in an area with a significant population.

The front porches are empty as are the backyards. Where is everybody? Can they all occupy the sandy shores of the east coast all summer? Are they all shopping in the techno malls to purchase more devices to divide them with more wireless connections?

I long for the renewed chance to provide a place where people will choose to meet, to engage in conversation with the person next to them — leaving the wireless world behind in order to explore the wonders of the mind and spirit of human kind.

I wonder.

I wish.

I wait.

Will you be there to connect with me?