Boobies or Bullies

October is a month of crisp cool air for those of us living in the Northeast.  Although autumn involved two of the worst events in my life, the fall remains my favorite season.

BreastCancer      Breast Cancer   Breast Cancer

October is the month designated for observing and screening for cancer.  The color PINK is everywhere you look — ribbons, shirts, pins — hair and food. Boobies are easier to think about and discuss. We get images of nurturing a life of an infant to a sensual adult pleasure.  What’s not to like about boobs/breasts?  Fundraisers for awareness, screening and survivors receive wholehearted support — emotionally and financially.

The reports of school violence astound us.  Random shootings for revenge trouble us.  We have become aware of ministers, priests, teachers, coaches, counselors who have crossed the line of comfort to criminal.  It takes years for most abuse victims to step forward from the shadow of silence and confront the creeps.

October is also Domestic Violence awareness month.   But who wants to hear about Bullies? Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Awareness.   The title — just makes us uncomfortable.  And, it should.

Most of the criminal acts are not seen on a surveillance camera that caught an NFL player who kicked and punched the person who loved and trusted him.   No. Most violence is of a coercive nature. It happens inside the victim’s home – where we are told to keep the offense behind closed lips and doors.  Consider the Stockholm Syndrome.  One of the multitude of strange lines the abuser said to me was “You talk to your mother too much.”   Here is a helpful link to know the signs.

circle-of-violence  Power-control-wheel-9-Clare-Murphy-PhD

The best decision I ever made in my life was getting out of a long-term abusive relationship. The worst part of my life occurred after making that decision.   “Classic Abuse” is what it is called —  impossible to know what is happening when you’re in the middle of it.
People asked “Why did you put up with it?” “Why didn’t you leave sooner?” In addition to corrupt court counsel, I experienced over 2 years of blame and bullying from “friends” and family members.  I never blamed them for not noticing, asking or mentioning what had ALL the signs of abuse (isolation, overworked, siphoned income, covert physical violence, stalking, and harassment).

The legal system continues today in the ongoing problem with abuse of power and control through delays, discounted facts and archaic language in documentation.

If you ask “How are you?” — try to pry or she (he) could die from the effect of avoiding the topic of bullying – a not yet full blown version of abuse.  I was a private person in a public position – operating nearly eight successful businesses by the time I had to evacuate my home/town.    We were all in it together — one abuser leading — the rest of us were left in shock from the result.

No More Silence. No More Violence.

NO more

Thank you to the people I’ve met in my transitional life’s journey.  Those who listened with kindness and no blame.  I’m still not completely free, but I’m doing fine and flourishing.

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Boobs or Brains

It’s Cancer Awareness Month and that’s the title (above) that pops in my head!.   Feel your Boobies is a clever way to get the point across about breast cancer.    There are countless campaigns to protect and preserve our body parts.

Will BRAINS ever be given the same “fondled” regard in the media as Breasts receive?

An earlier post on this blog  made note that Domestic Violence Awareness Month is also observed in October.  Have you read in the news,  heard on the radio, watched on TV or surfed the Internet to learn about the effects of Domestic Violence?   Probably not.    Maybe because the health hazard starts with the brain, is purposely perpetrated by a person, may be more difficult to detect — or — it is more unnerving to discuss.  The purple ribbon is the symbol for DV Awareness with the first known use in 1991.  A significant horrific event in Canada lead the Eastern Hemisphere in moving forward with campaigns and public education.

The symbol for Cancer Awareness started off with a pink ribbon – then transformed into a multitude of logos, campaigns, events.

Learn about or participate in a Think Pink event in your area.

Wear a button, a ribbon, a T-shirt, paint a pink picture, have a pink drink, etc.

And — This photo is the most unusual presentation I’ve seen!