Coffee Conversation

Here at the big “….bucks” cafe, youth are in and out at a steady pace. I’m positioned in a corner spot to be unobtrusive and so I can study, write and observe. The music is a bit loud for my taste but a nice mix of tunes condusive to study. The air is refreshingly cool (a little chilly). The round faux-marble table with antique style base is the right height for me to type. The bench seat is surprisingly comfortable.

Three of my former employees who were forced out of our coffeehouse along with me last September, remarked this past July that they couldn’t go to any other coffee places. They couldn’t accept the formal presentation, almost sterile environment and mediocre drinks with no customization.   They were also trying to heal from what transpired only months earlier to their beloved place of employment.  I, however, don’t have a problem sitting in a different coffeeshop anymore. I know, without a doubt, that my establishment was truely the best ever — unique to the max. My “shop” was comfortable, charming, intriguing, powerful, expressive, spontaneous – – it absolutely radiated life.

My five lively businesses were  “put down” — verbally, spiritually, mentally and financially as had been going on behind the scenes for years.
My multiple life careers (all involving people, not machines) were killed – a pre-meditated act.  When the abusive spouse set out to destroy everything I created, worked to build, and successfully managed (personally AND financially), he was effective in terrorizing us out of OUR coffeeHOUSE with the aid of a vindictive “lawyer” neighbor.   Wow, Mr vO is really enjoying the parking lot my parents paid to pave for MY customers.

Be right back — have to open a space for another customer . . .

Swan and Cygnet Cappuccino

OK — got in my car and drove to another location — secluded for my serenity . . .

Check out this beautiful swan and cygnet cappuccino — a reminder of the artistic, creative preparation of drinks we prepared.

There I was in the *coffeeshop* with two college girls next to me chatting as if in a schoolyard playground about guys and their observations of them on campus.  It was certainly a much more open discussion than what transpired 30 years ago when I was a Co-ed.  Back then, we had our space — our sensibility — our subtle scrutiny.    We were in a public venue.

Now, we have pods for coffee — little packs of liquid and energy.      So many people want everything quick, easy, convienient.    The young ladies left in 20 minutes – probably the maximum level of concentration for an above average young adult.     Where are the filters — coffee or otherwise — that formally defined our conversations?

Never Say Never

Written by Heidi Cornelissen
I once heard this comment passed between friends, “Just wait till you have kids of your own and you’ll be moaning about your husband like the rest of us.”

Although the comment was said in jest, I was still a little surprised at it and wondered when we’d gotten so passive about our lives.

  • Surely just because some change occurs in your life, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re forced to settle for less elsewhere?
  • Surely life hasn’t become so linear that we can predict that because of one action, another one will occur?
  • Are all our lives the same?
  • Where does personal choice fit into all of this?

As we already know, everyone can only speak from their perspective and because something is true for you, doesn’t mean it’s true for me. My experience may be different especially if I exercise different choices. Different choices often come from different thoughts. I can appreciate your experience, learn what I need to from it but most importantly trust and empower myself with creating my own reality.

The creation process starts with you. You have the choice to change – even if it’s just your thinking. And the power of changed thoughts can never be underestimated. The change in choice could be “Why would I moan about my husband instead of creating a different situation? Moaning about him won’t actually change anything, despite possibly feeling better in the short-term. Perhaps I’ll talk to him explaining how I feel.”

The same thing also applies to other aspects of your life. If you’re moaning about something, why not do something to change it? And once again, this may even be just your thinking or perception about it.

Once you’ve changed this, see what (if any) necessary action steps could accompany the new thought as well. This avoids the ongoing circle of discontentment that keeps people stuck.

  • How many people do you know that moan about single but don’t try internet dating, for example?
  • How many people moan about not having money but find reasons not to change jobs or even get a job?
  • How many people are overweight but prefer television to exercise?

Life is about choice and this includes love.

I’ve had clients excitedly state that a clairvoyant has told them they’d meet someone special soon. This gives them hope and they’re naturally happy with that.
“What are you doing about creating this man you’re going to meet?” I ask encouragingly.
“Uh. Nothing. But I know he’s going to show up.”
“What if he shows up at some or other social event, but you’re not there?”
“Oh,” a despondent voice responds.
“It may just be that you need to join some social or sporting clubs to get out there. Your soul mate may not actually coming knocking on your door,” I explain feeling like a hope-slayer.

I see the same with money desires. You need to be actively involved in the money creation process, in one form or another. And these days we’re lucky enough to be spoilt for choice with a variety of opportunities. It may just mean that you need to decide and try something. The network marketing industry is a great example of this. Those who are successful in this form of business are some of the hardest workers I’ve seen. They’re engaged with the process heart and soul. The irony is that in order to create a passive-income you start off as being anything but passive.

Exercising choice includes the option to change your mind. It doesn’t always serve you to make your decisions upfront either about how someone or something is going to turn out. Don’t bargain on getting upset with your partner before it actually happens. It’s also pointless to decide exactly and specifically what you want from a perfect partner. Don’t decide what type of job you wouldn’t be caught dead doing – ever. You don’t know what you don’t know. Decide instead to engage with your life. Live with passion and give things a go.

Never say never. Never say always. These are both lifetime commitments to limited thinking. Instead choose open-mindedness.
Give yourself a choice. Give others a choice and most importantly, give your life a chance.